Friday, October 7, 2011

Nothing's Right I'm Torn

Blog.  Twelve (tween!) years after it’s coined and it still makes me think *middleager, desperately seeking solace.  That or xanga fla$hB@Ck!!  My zanga was called SoLauraWaits.  Seriously.  What I was waiting for, I couldn’t tell you.
So amidst suffering the shame/embarrassment of a past fling with self-indulgent ranting and picture posting on **xanga, and upon reading blogs and judging their narcissism and ignorant twittering, I’ve resolved to:
1) Attempt to be less judgy 
2) Appreciate the possibilities

Reasons why I don’t blog:
1) Vanity of vanities.
2) Computers are soul-suckers.  Someone write a scifi orginal movie now.
3) Like I need my ignorant A broadcasting on the web.
4) Privacy issues. As a paranoid child I believed in men-in-vents. Imagine the implications on my adult life.
5) Copycats. Cause I’m like sooo original.  Though, truly they’re a major annoyance of mine.  Youngest children, you probably get me.
6) Writing in a real journal cooler than typing on a .com
7) Internet peeps are losers
8) More important things to do (like finish Felicity on netflix...)
9) Stalkers (real xanga stalker in high school. And you know I'm toootally stockable
10) I don’t like people assuming things about me or presuming to know me because of something I write.  Misinterpret this! (see Forgot About Dre lyrics)
11) Often I tackily say whatever I want in the moment. Maybe more easily forgettable/forgivable in real life, but in the interweb once it’s out there, it’s out there sucka!
12) In my entrepreneurial spirit- what do I have to gain?
13) The feeling that I’m contributing to a culture that lives, loves, breathes internet.  And feeding pervasive loneliness and human isolation.

Reasons why I should:
1) Yes it’s totally vain.  But maybe my other reasons make it less vain.
2) It is what it is.  I don’t live in the 90s anymore and this is how things happen now.  :(
3) I’m not going to allow it to overpower my lifestyle (real life living will always>the matrix).
4) Sorry Thoreau, but you didn’t change history by merely traipsing around in the woods. You published.  In other words, information should be shared, not guarded.
5) I started reading blogs.  I find cool stuff, cool ideas, etc and maybe I can give someone else cool ideas or at least contribute to some sort of cerebral stimulation.
6) It’s all been done.  Even if I finally achieve a truly original thought and someone is phony enough to copy me, whatever.  Besides, I kinda already gave up on nonconformity ideals when I was 15 and realized punks all dress the same, listen to the same music, etc…***
7) Need to destroy my collegy attitude of ownership of things I love.  Such as: “I totally heard of that first.”  “I showed you that!” etc…  I’m happy to make someone else excited about things, but the moment they spread the word and don’t give me credit, I get totally pissed.  I need to get over this.
8) I enjoy writing.  I would like to get better at it.  Practice practice practice! Right?....
9) I enjoy art.  Right now I have no one encouraging me to do it (accountability)
10) Kinda-form of external processing.  I’ll take more of that wherever I can get it
11) Possible desire for validation.  Geeze I hope not…
12) Opportunity to exercise self control.  Also, now I can finally b#### about everyone. 
13) In my entrepreneurial spirit- professional development! networking! Ads=Income$! Check out my etsy! (jk)
14) I am never in control of people’s perception of me and anyway who cares?
15) Keep up with friends!  Ha okay, not really.
16) Chance to explore and understand the human condition, the pervasiveness of loneliness, and anything else interesting.  Also, wax-poetic and wax-philosophic to impress people.

Annnnd now that I've finished Natalie Imbrguglia-ing, I've decided to start this.

*Nothing against middle-agers.  Love `em.  Screw our youth-centric culture.  Seriously.
**Has since been deleted- thank God and ummm thanks for the warning, xanga- now I can never reminisce...
***that being said- plagiarism is lame/disgusting and people that copy are lazy/boring.

No comments:

Post a Comment